Colin Worsfold, a civil servant

Arthur Hedley, turkey farmer

Pathologist

Peter Villiers, new Minister

Claire Worsfold, Colin's wife

Cranley, secretary to the P.M.

Waterboard Chairman

Newsreader #1

Taxi Driver

1st security man

Treasury Boss

Newsreader #2

Hans Gluk, German Food Minister

Androcles' Mum

Ben Worsfold, Colin's son

Gordon the Gobbler

Gun shop assistant

Mr. George Henderson, Colin's boss

Journalist #1

Pipsqueak

2nd security man

Spike, animal rights activist

Male vox pop

Female vox pop

Geoffrey Lester, Agriculture Minister

New Ager

Pippa Worsfold, Colin's daughter

Scientist

East Anglian Journalist

Queen Elizabeth II

Commissionaire

Beardie in tree

Policeman

Montague, a lobbyist

Maureen, animal rights activist

Patty Particle

Self

Journalist #2

Androcles, animal rights leader

Prime Minister

Voice over artist

Voice over artist